Where Hopes Fail(Part 1)

Long have I waited patiently,
To hear the words never said.
To feel the withheld emotions,
I so badly wish he actually felt.

Yet again, he points out to me,
That I am nothing but a failure.
I have done nothing right for him,
I have only lost him everything.

My brother able to win him a city,
My brother able to fight the enemy.
My brother sent out on a mission,
My brother trusted to the death.

He talks only of his achievments,
His wins, loyalties, trustworthyness.
I am nothing compared to my brother,
According to him, I am worthless.

So what reason do I have to stay,
To fight, to try and prove myself.
For him, I have no purpose here,
Only lose him all the things he's lost.

So, here I ride out to meet my fate,
The peoples of this city, lined to the gate.
Watching and crying as I exit with my men,
Knowing that this could be my end.

As the gates open wide I leave,
Knowing there is no turning back.
If not my Father then maybe my mother,
And my brother, I could make proud.

I lead my men out into the fields,
a long line we form across them.
This could be the end of all of us,
But now none of us can be rejected.

Rejected by the thought that we were cowards,
Rejected by the thought that we didn't care.
Rejected by the fact that numbers do matter,
Rejected because we only want to protect ourselves.

Finally we will no longer be accused,
Of being fearful against our enemies.
We will now be able to show proof,
That there were, of them, too many.

Our spears up, our voices turning into shouts,
We can see our enemies riding to meet us.
They too hold up their weapons and voices,
They ride hard, fast and right into us.


(written August 18th, 2007 for my dear BelovedCaptain)

Love Is The Future(Part 2)

The pain of the enemy's arrow,
Pierced through my flesh.
Spreading it's poison throughout,
Leaving me motionless.

As I lay I can hear loud shouts,
One is that of my father.
The other is a rather small voice,
Loud, shrill and high pitched.

I can almost hear my father's words,
He's shouting insanities.
But this smaller voice, shouts truth,
I'm not dead, I need medicine.

After countless hours of suffering,
I feel as though I'm floating.
I know I'm being carried somewhere,
But where I do not know.

After a few minutes of marching along,
I stop floating, I am moved.
I have been placed onto something,
It's a cold and hard place.

I can hear what seems to be echoing,
We must be underground.
I can hear the piling of wood branches,
I feel a liquid pour over me.

Where have I been so secretly taken,
Am I not in the House of Healings?
Is there no medicine that can help me?
What is that liquid on me?

I hear a loud bang come from somewhere,
And it sounds like a horse.
Suddenly, as though a fire has been lit,
I'm surrounded by sudden heat.

What is going on now? I'm being pushed,
I can feel myself falling down.
I know I've hit the bottom, I've stopped,
I can feel little hands on me.

It seems as though they're patting me,
But why, I don't know.
I smell something that resembles smoke,
My senses are coming back.

I try to look around as my eyes adjust,
For now I can open them.
I am lying on the floor of a cement room,
The Stewards Death Chamber.

I see my father upon the stone podium,
I must have been there.
I see him amongst the flames around him,
The heat I felt, was fire.

I now understand what has happened,
My father despaired.
He thought there was nothing left,
I thought I lost him everything.

I see Gandalf and the pair of small hands,
I've met him once before.
He was in my father's hall while I was,
He was serving him.

As my senses come back into focus,
I attempt to hold myself up.
With the help of my new found heroes,
I make my way to medicine.

As I lay in the House of Healings,
I see a woman come in.
She is taken to a seperate room,
She is being followed.

As time passes I see her again,
This time in the gardens.
She is beautiful and fair to look upon,
I realize, there is hope.

Hope for a future I never thought of,
A possibility for love.
Hope for acceptance in a place that,
I never thought to look.

Here is now where my new future is,
I just know it's her.
I can feel it growing inside my heart,
I have found my place.


(written October 21st, 2007, also for my friend BelovedCaptain)

Winter Blues

Wishing for snow,
Hoping to see white.
A winter wonderland,
Long forgotten.

So many years,
Without much coldness.
Left with a draft,
A slight wind chill.

Oh how I dream,
Of the falling white softness.
That lands so gently,
Upon the ground.

So long has the winters,
Been so full of rain.
Nothing to make angels in,
Or make snowmen with.

I have officially been,
Filled with the winter blues.
For rain falls down,
Where the snow should.


(written December 6th, 2007)

The Opened Door

I can see inside another person's mind,
Where someone else seeks something to find.
Though what it is, to me is unknown,
Unfortunately though, my curiosity has grown.

Through a window an older man catches,
Lights on upstairs in the abandoned mansion.
An odd feeling rising as he draws near,
Strange voices inside, bringing him fear.

He stands outside the door just to have a listen,
When suddenly something in the light glistens.
It slithers on past and into the room,
Without a word, it announces his doom.

A man in a chair turned quickly into sight,
Without one word a flash of bright green light.
Suddenly thrown out of the other's eye,
Sadly to say, I saw another man die.


(written August 15th, 2007. Under the title What Does This Mean?)

Solid Friend

You never talk back,
You hear my every word.
You keep all my secrets,
You always shelter me.

You break my falls,
You never fall down,
You keep me safe,
You actually know me.

You do not judge,
You do not hold grudges,
You do not accuse,
You do not hurt others.

I can lean upon you,
I can always trust you,
I can feel safe near you,
I can confide in you.

You're solid as a rock,
You're solid as stone.
You never give up,
You never go away.

No matter where I am,
There you are, nearby.
I am surrounded by you,
Everywhere I go, in some form.

You are my solid friend.

(written October 22nd, 2008)

A Selection of Haikus

Reflection

Have you stopped today,
To think of what you have done?
Reflecting yourself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Cool Refreshment

Rest your hand upon
A quiet trickling stream.
And feel it's coolness.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Fresh Snow

Falling from the sky,
Landing softly on the ground.
Making things glow bright.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Wonder Why

Within the hours,
Lying awake, unable to sleep.
I wonder, why me?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Just Like Rain

High up in the sky,
Falling to the earth below,
Humble is now me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


The Running Wheel

Buried in my thoughts,
Peace I cannot seem to find.
Why must the mind run?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Choosing Your Battles

This is how I feel,
And I disagree with you.
But the time is off.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Faeries

Just like the pixies,
And butterflies in tiny forms,
Faeries make us smile.



(all these written between the dates of November 30th, 2007-February 6th, 2008)

Can't You Tell?

As I stand here infront of you,
I have to hold my breath.
I start to shake uncontrollably,
I'm getting the butterflies.

As I watch you walking on by,
I wish I had said something.
To even say the smallest word,
Such as a friendly, greeting.

As I lay in bed awake all night,
Constantly thinking of you.
Wondering if we could ever be,
Dreaming of us together.

As I keep glancing at you all day,
Pretending you didn't see it.
Smiling and blushing as we pass,
It feels as though I'm flying.

But you never seem to notice me,
Just continuing on your way.
Just looking at the popular girls,
Especially the cheerleaders.

I may not have the perfect figure,
But my love is much more true.
They only look at you for one reason,
I look at you for another one.

So, can't you tell how I'm feeling?
How I'm falling apart right now?
Right in front of your lovely eyes.
Can't you see me at all?

If not, I hope that you do, one day,
Realize, what's worth your love.
I will be here waiting patiently, for you,
No matter how long it takes.


(written November 26th, 2007)